I went to the house of mistic lights,
The screen at the corner was trying to blow,
The lightings were flashing;
The luminous kites
Were blinking in twilight and dancing as snow.
Don`t leave our party, don`t look to the clock!
Come here, see and listen, it`s your paradise!
Some pop- and folk music, ibiquitous rock —
The DJs are looking for sun in your eyes.
Good morning! Hey, night,you are going away!
But see, you`ll be happy,we love you, don`t cry!
My power, my freedom, my only, my way,
You`ll leave and return. Please, don`t say me "Goodbye".
Мар 08, 2009 - 03:22
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The 1-st strophe is full of colour, it gives to a reader a lot of rich visual impressions and allows him to dive inside the poem immediately.
As for general structure, the poem looks very solid and slim - some sequences of similar constructions play parts of special internal binds here.
The sound's on high level, too. Elegant lightness of reading is well combined with lots of assonances. And a great rythm, of course!
P.S. But just a small mistake in the last word.